Shadowed and Deprived
by fictionfairytalesfantasy4921
Summary: AU. Magnus is a successful fashion designer and he has it all. The fame, fortune, talent, beauty. What could go wrong? Oh, that sexy yet so average blue eyed boy working at a coffee shop. Alec doesn't have the best life, he was raised in a violent orphanage and is now re-contemplating suicide. How will Magnus handle this? More importantly, how will Alec?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Thanks for viewing! Here is the first chapter, the second one should be posted soon. Enjoy and review please (:

**Magnus POV**

Life is easy when everything you want and need is handed right to you. I have everything I could ever want and so much more. I'm rich, young, beautiful and ever so talented. I have one of the biggest lofts in all of Manhattan, I have chauffeurs and butlers and maids. I have no siblings or parents that I have to worry and stress about constantly. Only me and my spoiled-rotten cat.

I am living the all American dream.

I am on the cover of magazines and even made the newspaper which surprised me. People know me and they love me.

I swipe my black credit card and people stop to stare, sometimes I can't tell if it is from the rectangle of plastic or my stunning good looks. As if that matters. I'm perfect. They should stop and stare. Some of them even get a wink or a smirk out of me and that's all that is needed for the ladies to swoon.

I own these New York streets. I strut down them like they are my personal runway.

Oh how I love runway.

I did consider doing runway and photo shoots as an occupation, after all I am flawless. But my true passion is to design what is put on the models, not to be the model dressed up and styled like a damn Ken doll.

Don't get me wrong, I love to be pampered. I make room for it every day. But to be done up in a way that is not how I want it, it's horrible.

I like to be the one controlling what the models wear and how they look. I like to be the one the celebrities say "Oh yes, this dress is from the Bane Collection, designed and created by Magnus Bane."

Oh yes. What a wonderful life this is. I'll be damned if I ever let anything get in the way of it.

**Alec POV**

I kicked the door shut behind me and set the last cardboard box down. I scanned the room with saddened eyes. It is small and dank. Apparently I am "lucky" to have a bathroom connected. There are only my three boxes, two suitcases and one mattress that fill the space.

At least I have a room with a view, a lovely old women who is shirtless dancing around the kitchen. I couldn't help but grimace and close the dusty blinds.

I turned on the heater… I think. We will see soon enough. The room felt like the arctic and the snow outside didn't help any.

My new home made me miss the crowded bedroom back at the orphanage. I had a sudden urge to go back, even after all the years I wished I was far away from the place.

I couldn't go back even if I tried. I'm eighteen now. They are no longer responsible for me, they found me this apartment and paid the first three months for me. After that, I'm on my own.

I suppose I need to find a job. Somewhere close by considering I have no car or any money for a taxi or subway.

I sighed deeply. I have no one to blame but myself.

**Magnus POV**

**Two weeks later**

Snow trailed in behind me as I entered the small coffee shop I go to every morning. I untangled my arms and unbuttoned my coat to approach the counter.

There is that kid again, the kid that always rings me up and makes my coffee. The kid that never seems to be phased by me while everyone else in the room would stare in awe. The boy with shocking black hair and shining blue eyes.

He watched me approach. "The usual?" He asked, completely bored and uninterested.

_ He remembered my drink. _I thought fondly.

_ Of course he remembers your drink, Magnus. Everyone would remember your drink. You're Magnus Bane._

"Yes." I said.

_ Or maybe it's because I've been here consecutively for the past couple weeks, it is the boys job to remember regulars._

The boy began making my coffee. He was working alone today and there weren't many people in the shop this morning. Probably because of the blizzard outside. Looking out the windows was like looking at a sheet of blank paper.

"How about this weather, huh?" I said before I could stop myself.

The boy looked at me as if he was wondering what language I was speaking but then his gaze shifted to the white windows.

"Fantastic." He said in a sarcastic, dull tone and went back to making coffee.

I mentally kicked myself. "Uh, so you don't like the snow?"

"I don't like a lot of things." He said quickly not averting his eyes from the drink. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow at him even though he couldn't see it.

I suddenly realized that this is the first time I have ever tried to make conversation with the boy. That would explain his confusion when I first spoke. All the other times I was here there were many people in line and other people were working with him.

"What's your name?" I asked suddenly. Wait, why do I care about what his name is? He is just a barista at a coffee shop.

The boy put a lid on my drink and sat it on the counter in front of me.

"2.99." He said without answering my question.

"You should be wearing a name tag." I said in a teasing tone. For some odd reason, I felt like I needed to make him smile. Much to my disappointment, I was unsuccessful.

"If you paid any attention the last few days, you would know that today is the first day I don't have it." He said staring me dead in the eyes. Ugh. His eyes are so blue, I could get lost in them and never want to come out. They are like an ocean on a stormy day, stern and strong yet so beautiful.

_ What? Compose yourself Magnus!_

Without breaking our gaze, I pulled out my wallet and dropped a single bill on the counter. I wasn't sure the amount, if I had to guess from remembering the last time I looked, I'd say a ten.

"Keep the change." I said and took the drink. Breaking our hold as I turned and went to sit at my usual spot in the corner of the shop by the window.

As I sat down, I placed my drink on the table and pulled out my laptop and sketch pad; preparing to do my every day work I do when I come here. I usually draw new designs for my Collection or finish up others and recreate them on my laptop for a more vivid visual.

As my computer powered up, the blue eyed boy was standing in front of me.

"You sure about that?" He asked holding up my money, I saw it was a hundred dollar bill. _Oops. I guess I missed a zero._

"Tell me your name and it's yours." I smirked. I have plenty of money, what's a hundred dollar cup of coffee? Plus I get his name, we both win.

The boy glared at me. "I'll be back with change." He said and stormed off.

I frowned. What is it with this guy? Who turns down 97 dollars? All I want is his name. I just _need_ a name to put with that face.

He was back again and setting 97 dollars and a penny next to my coffee. I looked up at him. "What is the big deal?" I asked him.

"I don't need your charity. If you wanted my name you would've gotten it by now." He turned and went behind the counter, heading into the back room.

I watched his every move as he walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow, thanks for all the reviews and follows! Please keep them up! This chapter frustrated me because I feel like I just didn't phrase anything right. Tell me your thoughts. Thanks again and enjoy.

**Alec POV**

**The next day**

It was another quiet day at work. Two people sat at tables on opposite ends of the shop, engrossed in laptops.

_ I wonder what they are like. Laptops._

Growing up the way I did, technology was not something we had. The orphanage had land-line phones and the only way I could use a computer was at school and it was to do research and print out essays. Never did I use it for recreational purposes. What is the point? I guess I don't really understand them, though that didn't stop my curiosity.

I am slowly adjusting to the life of living alone. My home is an ice box, the stupid heater doesn't work and I have no way to fix it. The silence is strange, sometimes it is nice to have. Other times it reminds me of how alone I really am and I find myself crying to sleep.

I try to stay far away from the place by taking on extra hours of work. I feel rather satisfied by this. The more hours I work, the more money I make and the sooner I can move out of that hell hole that is called home.

_ Home. _What is the definition of a home? Because that is not where I am living and the orphanage has never been a home. A home is full of warmth and comfort and it's where you find people that love you and care for you. I have never had a home but I have never been without a roof over my head.

I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes. There is nothing good about me or my life. I don't understand why I was born or am even still alive. I am unwanted and unloved. No one would know or even care if I was gone.

Yet, for some reason, the orphanage put me on suicide watch when I was fifteen. What would it matter to them if I was dead or not? They beat me enough and even knocked me out a couple times. What should they care if I tried to kill myself? I would just be finishing off the job.

The door to the shop opened and in walked that regular that comes here every morning.

His jacket was tight around his body and a tan scarf was wrapped around his neck. His spiked up, black hair held the usual glitter that it did every day and there were snowflakes covering almost his whole body, accenting his olive skin and dark hair more than usual. He carried the brown bag with him that held his laptop and notebook, I can't help but wonder what use he has for them.

He was at the counter and I realized I was staring. His golden eyes poured into mine, making my insides liquidize.

I wondered how he can wear eyeliner, isn't that irritating to his eyes? Though it did him justice. The guy is stunning.

The man smirked at me and I kept my hard expression and scowled.

"Usual?" I asked harshly.

"Of course." He answered.

I began his drink.

"No name tag again. Now I am beginning to think you're doing this on purpose." He said teasingly.

I didn't look up at him. "I lost it." I stated simply. And I did lose it, not that I need to answer to him. This guy is so annoying, why is he taking such an interest in me?

"My name is Magnus." He said. "Magnus Bane."

I stopped what I was doing to stare at him. "Is that suppose to mean something to me?" I said with a out stretched arm, not believing what I am getting form this guy. Take a hint, sparkles.

"I like you." He said abruptly. This time I had to roll my eyes. Nobody _likes_ me.

"You're wasting your time, Bane." I said sourly, putting the lid on his drink and setting it in front of him. "There is nothing to like."

"I disagree." He said softly, kindness dancing in his tone and tenderness swimming in his eyes.

No one has ever looked at me like that before.

_ He is full of it, Alec. Just like everyone else is when they try to be kind to you. It is all a joke to laugh at you in the end._

"2.99." I said, my voice sounding less bitter than I would have liked.

He smiled at me, dropping a five on the counter. "Keep the change for a new name tag."

"What, you think yesterday wasn't enough?" I said, remembering the 97.01 he left sitting at his table when he finally left the shop. I had no choice but to take it. I needed the money but I absolutely hated receiving handouts.

Magnus was grinning in remembrance. He picked up his cup without a word and started to his usual spot.

"It's Alec." I blurted out, stopping him.

_ Why did you do that?_

He turned to face me.

"Alexander really, but I go by Alec." I continued, my voice sounding small and frail.

_ Stop sounding so helpless. You can save that for a time when you're alone and safe from humiliation._

"Well, Alexander, it is a true pleasure to make your acquaintance." Magnus smiled fondly.

Then he walked to his table to set up his everyday station.

I felt myself smile just the slightest bit.

**Magnus POV**

I couldn't hide the smile on my face as I sat down. The blue eyed boys name is Alexander, or rather, Alec. What a lovely name, it suited him well.

I glanced back at the counter. Alec stood in front of the register staring blankly ahead.

_ I wonder what he is thinking about._

I didn't realize I was staring until Alec looked at me and we locked eyes. After a moment, he ducked his head down, hiding his pretty face from mine. This made me smile, yet again.

I get that kind of reaction all the time from other people but this time… It was different. This felt like it had deeper meaning.

It's cute when Alec is shy. It was an honest look that fit him well as opposed to that false, cocky persona he presented the past week or so.

I don't know what it is about him, but I like him. I want to know him better and that is not something I usually want. No, I don't want to know him; I need to.

To be honest, it was a scary thing to feel.

I thought about what he said. "You're wasting your time, Bane. There is nothing to like." He said it so harshly, like he sincerely meant it as hatred towards himself. I've seen that look only once before. My reflection in the mirror after my parents died.

I don't understand what happened to Alec for him to feel such a way but I need to find out. I don't want him to feel that way about himself. He doesn't deserve to.

_ You don't even know him. What are you talking about?_

I shook my head from the logical thought.

One thing I know for sure, I'm not wasting my time.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: WOW thank you all so much for reviewing and following. It means a lot that you have been enjoying this story. Here is the next chapter, keep the reviews coming! Enjoy (: PS. Happy new year!

**Alec POV**

It's Sunday and I have the day off, how did I manage to get that? I _want_ to work and avoid the pain of everyday life.

As a result, I made myself plans.

Right now I have enough extra cash to use public transportation so I'm taking the subway to go and see Jace. There is no way I am spending my day off moping around the house. Who knows what I would end up doing.

I haven't seen Jace since I left the orphanage. We were raised together and were best friends before he hit the age of four. We would aid to each other every time the other would get beaten brutally for being disrespectful or disobeying the rules. Him and I usually conspired together about the next bad thing to do- Not that we wanted to get beaten, it was more of the challenge and thrill to see how far we could go without repercussions.

When I was thirteen I realized I had stronger feelings than friendship and brotherhood towards Jace. A crush that lasted until I turned seventeen.

I hated myself. I thought I was sick for wanting to be with another person that is the same gender as I. I couldn't figure it out, I didn't know what homosexuality was. I saw Jace at school with other girls and I saw other guys and other girls together. I didn't understand what was wrong with me.

Then I was seventeen and I started to grow apart from wanting Jace in such a way. By this time, I knew everything there was to know about different sexualities, though that has nothing to do with what made me see Jace in a new light.

He told me he loved me. I knew he meant it as a brotherly gesture and I said it back, finding that I actually meant it in the same way he did. I don't know what exactly made me snap into reality but I felt myself feel sick at the thought of kissing him or doing anything more than hugging.

My whole life has involved Jace, there isn't a single memory I have that doesn't include him. Up until now. I miss him terribly. I need someone to talk to and he is the best person to seek for a lending hand.

That is why I have to go and see him. Jace is my rock and I am his. I need my rock now, thank god I worked double shifts to have the income to make it happen.

The orphanage doesn't allow for visitation but lucky for me, Jaces room has a balcony and a tree just outside of it.

Time to cause more trouble. I felt myself smirk.

**Magnus POV**

I hate meetings. I hate them a lot. I don't normally issue them unless some kind of event is coming up, which is normally often but not often enough to have to involve my entire staff in one room. My mental state is being tested, I know it.

The meeting is for Fashion Week and I found that the Bane Collection is going to be apart of it. I am sincerely thrilled and excited about this, as I usually am, it's not the first time my collection is being modeled for one of New York's biggest events.

Except now I am being told by three of my designers that they are no where near complete with some of my best pieces due to 'fabric complications'.

The fashion show is next week, there is no time for careless mistakes. If the deadline wasn't so close, I would have fired them.

"We will need extra hands to get this complete Mr. Bane." Said Ragnor.

I rubbed my temples. "From whom? All my backups have been employed for other companies participating in the show. I hired you for a reason, Mr. Fell. Do not disappoint me any further." I felt my eyes dart across the table. All the eyes in the room looked away, suddenly interested in their fingers.

I felt myself stand up, looking over my employees sitting at the long conference table and the others standing off to the sides who did not have a place to sit. All these workers of mine and I'm short handed. My glare could not be deadlier.

"I expect you to find a way to fix this problem." I addressed everyone coldly. "You put yourselves in this situation, you get yourselves out of it. I want all the clothing finished by Wednesday morning and sitting in front of me ready to be fitted onto the models. Those who do not comply with the deadline will be fired. That is all."

I walked out of the conference room and went into my office. I shut the door behind me and suddenly wished I had blinds on my floor to ceiling windows that over looked the rest of the office. I want to be alone to get myself to relax and I can't do that when I see people scrambling around like a fish on a hook.

I need to get out of here.

I gathered up my coat and scarf and left my private office, locking the door behind me. Just then, my receptionist Camille was standing in front of me. Her big red lips stood out the most against her pale skin and her pulled back blonde hair. She wore a black pencil skirt and a tucked in silk blouse that was part of my spring collection a few years back.

"Of course, I will relay the message to Mr. Bane. Thank you for letting us know." She clicked a button against the silver device attached to her ear. "Problem." She stated to me with concerned eyes.

"Walk." I said going towards the elevators and slipping on my scarf, followed by my jacket.

I heard the heels clicking against the marble flooring, indicating her presence behind me. "One of the models cancelled, said she has a family emergency."

I pressed the button for the elevator and turned to her frowning. "Which model?"

Camille hesitated. "Maureen."

I sighed deeply. Maureen is one of my main girls, she is the best there is when it comes to runway. This day could not get any worse. "Damn it."

"How would you like to proceed?" Camille asked formally.

Just then an idea came over me, surely I could not find a model to replace Maureen, she is irreplaceable. But finding a model available in the next two days is reaching impossible. I looked Camille up and down, who says I can't create a model of my own? "You ever do runway?" I asked her.

Camille stared at me, her cheeks growing red. "Oh. Um, no."

"You do now." The elevator dinged behind me and I entered, hitting the button with an 'L' on it and the doors closed.

* * *

I didn't know where I was walking until I was standing outside of it. I went through the door and took in my surroundings.

Everything was the same, the smell of coffee, the lack of population… Everything was the same except for the person working behind the counter.

_ Since when does Alec not work? Maybe I'm too late. No, it's only ten-thirty. Why is he not here? He works every day._

_ Why do you even care, Magnus? How did you even end up here? You don't want coffee and surely you don't have the time to waste on some barista._

I approached the counter and was met with a short, red-haired, green-eyed girl. I recall seeing her a couple times when Alec first started.

"What can I get for you?" The girl asked sweetly, I read her name tag, Clary.

"Actually I was wondering if Alec is around." I said.

"Oh. No he has today off. Our boss was getting mad that he spends, literally, all his time here." She said like it was unbelievable. It kind of is.

"Really?" I couldn't hide the amusement in my voice. "Your boss thought he worked too much?"

Clary laughed shyly. "Well he has a point. Alec is _always_ here. I don't know much about him but he must have a good reason to want to be here all the time instead of out there." She gestured towards the door to indicate the outside world.

"Huh." I was intrigued, no question about it. "You wouldn't happen to have a number I could reach him at?"

_ What? Magnus what are you doing? _

"Actually," She started with a frown. "he doesn't have a phone. I have no way to get a hold of him; but he will be back tomorrow morning, so you could stop by then."

I felt myself scowl. How could Alec not have a cell phone?

"Sorry I couldn't be of more help." She shrugged apologetically.

"It's alright. Nice meeting you, Clary." I said and walked out.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: You guys are amazing! I'm so happy you all like the story so far! I promise to try to keep the updates frequent, it's hard with the three other stories that I am currently writing but I will try my best. Keep the reviews coming and like always, enjoy! :D

**Alec POV**

The orphanage is only a couple blocks from the subway and thankfully, it stopped snowing.

I came to a stop at the corner to wait for the signal to cross the street. I stared ahead of me at the large building that is known as _The Institute_, or less formally, _The Orphanage._

This is where all my memories were made, good and bad. This is where I was taken when my parents decided they didn't want me and they didn't want my sister, who was taken to an all girls Institute. I haven't seen her since I was two, I wouldn't recognize her if I tried to find her.

I crossed the street and suddenly noticed a few others were crossing with me and there were several cars around. I don't remember this area being so heavily populated.

Once across the street I went right, passing the playground and going towards the back of the orphanage. It didn't take me long to find the tree that was outside Jaces window. Some rooms have balconies, Jaces is the only one with a tree next to it. I looked around to make sure no one was watching then began my climb up to the third floor.

I reached the small terrace and climbed over. Before I got myself on both feet, I was met with a familiar and comforting voice.

"Look at this, my knight in shining armor here to rescue me."

I smiled wide and looked up at the grinning golden boy. "Jace."

We ran at each other and embraced in a warm, inviting hug.

"It's about time you came to visit." He said as we pulled away.

"Hey, real life isn't as easy as you might think. I swear these people wanted to get me as far from here as possible."

"Well tell me all about it." He said and pulled me inside to his room.

Jaces room hadn't changed a bit, well why would it in a course of a couple weeks? His single bed sat in one corner, his desk across from it. A chair and lap in the opposing corner and a wardrobe across from it. Leaving very little space in the middle to move around.

Jace dragged me over to his bed and we sat down and got comfortable leaning against the wall and facing the rest of the room.

"So tell me, how are you?" Jace began.

I hesitated. "Good."

"Stop lying Alec, I know you better. Tell me what is going on." He turned and faced me. When I didn't say anything he took it for the worse. "You haven't been cutting have you?"

Hearing the word was skin peeling enough. "No, Jace." Though I have thought about it and have been considering it. Not that I could tell Jace that, he would put me back on suicide watch so fast I wouldn't even get the chance to attempt anything.

"Then what?"

"Life sucks." I sighed.

"You're telling me." Jace scoffed, turning to face the room again. "Nothing here has changed." He lifted his sleeve to show me freshly made bruises.

All I could do was shake my head. "Never could resist trouble."

"It's not the same without you." He said pulling back down his sleeve.

"On the bright side, you will be eighteen soon. You can come and live with me in my crappy, unheated apartment and get a job at the coffee shop I work at. Maybe date one of the girls that work there." I nudged his arm with my elbow.

"And not get beaten for doing something wrong." He continued for me.

"Well, that depends on how well you treat your girl." I smirked and we laughed.

"So that's your life now? Working and living in the real world? That doesn't sound so bad to me."

"You haven't seen the apartment, I mean I don't expect something grand and extravagant but I at least expect something that is within living conditions."

"No heater? Thank god I'll be moving in during the summer." He joked.

"Hopefully, I'll be moved out of there. Jace I'm not even kidding when I say it is smaller than your bedroom."

We both looked around the room, yes my place is definitely smaller. "Yikes. Well that's Hodge for you, finding the cheapest place to live for one of his worst orphans." Hodge is the headmaster at the orphanage, he manages everything. The beatings, room assignments, people moving out like me and soon, Jace.

"Be thankful I am saving you the trouble." I said, making the reference that Jace is also one of the main, bad children here.

"By moving in with you? Who says I want to?" He asked teasingly.

"Oh, so you would rather have a crappy apartment on your own?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Pssh yeah. If I'm lucky, I'll grow some mold and get a pet cockroach."

We laughed again. It was nice being able to talk openly and laugh. Those are two things that I can't do with anyone else, not that I want to.

"I just made enough money to take the subway." I stated.

"It took you two weeks for that?" He asked surprised. "The subway isn't that expensive."

"No it's not." I agreed. "But when you are paid minimum wage and have to save for food, rent and a phone, it becomes a lot of money."

Jace didn't say anything.

"It sucks so bad." I said quietly, looking down at my hands. Thinking about the scars that lay just beneath my shirt sleeves. Not just from cutting but also the beatings. My whole body is marked, only my wrists and upper thighs are because of me.

"Hey." Jace soothed. "Look at the bright side, things will get better."

I always hated when people said that to me, if I had a dollar for every time someone did, I'd be rich. But when it comes to Jace, I listen to him. He is more than just some friend I grew up with. He is my brother, my family, the only family I have ever known and ever will know. I trust him with my life, hell he even saved my life once but that is beside the point. When Jace tells me something, I know he means and believes it too. When he says things will get better, I believe him.

I smiled faintly. "Thanks Jace." Though the words were encouraging they still didn't solve the problem. I'm just straight up depressed and feel worthless, nothing but time can change that; if it ever does change.

"That's what I'm here for." Jace replied.

* * *

I spent a couple hours just hanging out and talking with Jace, eventually we pulled out his pack of cards and I kicked his ass at poker. He snuck downstairs and brought up lunch for him and I, I'm sure Hodge will notice the missing food and find Jace, not that Jace even cared. Getting hit becomes something you get use to and your body just adapts.

When I left, the snow started falling and I made it to the subway before it turned into a full blown blizzard.

I boarded the train that took me back to my place but about twelve blocks from my house, the rails for the train froze over and now the subway is officially not an option. I cursed to myself.

I climbed the stairs out of the subway with a small amount of other people that were crazy enough to leave and the wind was being blown at the perfect angle to blow snow onto the stairs and hit me before I finished the ascending the first flight. I watched the crowd people that were entering the station to avoid the whether, they were covered in frost and were pulling their clothing tight against them, great.

It was nearly impossible to see, I didn't know which way to go to get home. After I pulled my beanie further down my head, buttoned my jacket and slipped my hands into my pockets, I chose a way and began walking, hoping it was the right way.

After a block and a half, I decided I couldn't go any further. I'm going to get pneumonia if I continue in this. It felt like it was far below zero outside.

I turned off into a building, going through revolving doors and getting hit with heat that I welcomed happily. I looked back outside at the sheet of white. How did I navigate in that?

I turned back to the building. It was nice. Marble flooring and large white pillars, there was a desk at the back wall with secretaries seated at them. There were glass elevators lining the right wall and hallways branching out on the left.

"Can I help you find something?" Someone asked me on the left. I looked at the man, he seemed about sixty years old and I noticed his uniform, he's a security guard.

"Oh I-"

"He's with me." A voice said behind me cutting me off. I turned and saw… Magnus?

Oh crap.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you all for the support with reviews and follows and favorites! It means a lot! Keep it up and i'll make the next chapter double the size :D Enjoy!

**Alec POV**

I stared at the man in front of me. _What is he doing here?_

"Very well, Mr. Bane." The security guard said behind me, I heard his footsteps recede.

"Funny seeing you here." Magnus said with a smirk. I felt myself grow angry at my heart for skipping a beat and my stomach growing light, all because of that smirk.

He looked the way he usually does when he comes into the coffee shop- jacket, scarf, glittery hair, eyeliner and his satchel style backpack that holds all the contents that I wish I understood for what seemed like the millionth time. He must have just came in because his nose and cheeks were rosy and there was snow covering his whole body, I probably look the same way.

"Yeah. Funny. I'm going to leave now." I said and walked for the doors.

"No stop." He called and came after me before I went through the revolving door. "You can't leave. You will freeze to death." Magnus was next to me now, staring at me with those warm golden eyes that made me feel comforted and safe.

_ Don't fall for it, Alec._

"No I have to get home." I argued and tried to leave but he stood in my way. I sighed in annoyance. "Would you move?"

"No. Alec you're shivering." I am? "Come up to my office to get warm and when the weather clears up I'll drive you home. Please." He pleaded.

"It doesn't sound like you're giving me much of a choice." I said and then scowled.

"I'm not. Lets go." He grinned and looped his arm with mine. I tensed at the contact but Magnus didn't bother to notice. He walked us to the elevator doors and hit the button to go up.

"You know, you should wear beanies more often." He said and winked at me. I rolled me eyes and Magnus laughed. The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

We walked in and Magnus hit the button for the fourteenth floor, the top floor. The doors closed and I watched as the people below grew smaller and smaller and finally disappeared as we started going through the floors of the building.

"What kind of person doesn't have a cell phone?" Magnus suddenly asked, still not letting my arm go.

"What?" I said, trying to understand why he asked something so random rather than whathe was asking.

"I went to your work today and you weren't there. I thought it was strange and I asked the girl working, Clary- sweet girl by the way-"

"Yes I know. I work with her, your point?"

"My point, I asked for your number and she said you didn't have a phone. It was strange. She offered your address but I thought that would be creepy."

"Right. And asking my co-worker for my phone number isn't creepy at all."

Magnus laughed and the elevator dinged.

We walked out and it was like walking into a war zone except more colorful. There were people running around and fabrics flying through the air. People were going over what looked to be design sheets and others were already cutting and sewing them. Some people were making adjustments of full outfits on mannequins.

Magnus guided me away from all the chaos and into a room that was just to the right of the elevators. The door said, Secretary Camille Belcourt. Magnus barged us in like he owned the place and shut the door behind us.

The room is small and has no windows. The room is designed contemporary with the sharp, clean edges and colors consisting of grey, black and white. Completely different from what was out on the main floor. At the desk sat a girl with large red lips and blonde hair.

"I will have to call you back." The beautiful girl said and hung up the phone. "Just the man I needed to see, we have another dilemma-" Camille stood and walked over to us, only glancing at me briefly before turning her attention back to Magnus.

"Not now Camille." Magnus raised his hand to her. "I need you to order take-out dinner at Takis for me. The usual and make it a double."

"But Mr. Bane-"

"Now Camille." Magnus ordered and Camille ducked her head down and went back to her desk and started making the call.

Magnus dragged me out and to another room. He had to pull out a key for this door that read only a name, Magnus Bane.

We entered the room and this office space was much larger and more beautifully designed. Hard-wood floors throughout, floor-to-ceiling windows on opposing sides, one overlooking the main floor and the other of the blizzard outside. Colorful couches and matching pillows sat at one side and a grand desk at the other end. It is like a normal office except bigger, more colorful and with a living space that has a fire place to complete it.

The fire place got my attention. I went to it and sat on the couch that was closest. Magnus was right, I am freezing.

I heard the door close and the noise from the workers go with it. The room was quiet and dare I say relaxing, unless I look to the right of the door where I am met with war of the fabrics.

"You like it?" Magnus asked as he came and sat at the couch across from me. I noticed he took off the majority of his clothing, exposing his business attire consisting of a suit that is the perfect combination of casual, formal and sexy. It reminded me of Neal Caffrey from White Collar.

"Like what?" I asked, knowing Magnus, he could be talking about a number of things.

"My office." He said with a grin.

"Mind telling me _why_ it's your office?" I asked, I got the general idea of what this place is, I just don't understand what Magnus does.

"Because I own the company." He said with a frown. "As well as the building." He added.

I stared at him. _Who the hell is this guy?_

I found I was thinking out loud. "Who are you exactly?"

This made him frown even more. "You're the first person who has asked me that in years." He said and picked up a magazine that was sitting on the coffee table between us and handed it to me. "See for yourself. Page fifteen."

I hesitantly opened the book. Do I really want to know? _Yes. Wait, no! Okay, maybe… _

Page fifteen. There are pictures of models wearing ridiculous clothing no one would ever wear in public and a whole article on Magnus that carried over to the following page and had a picture of him and his answers to questions from a recent interview.

"Want some hot chocolate?" He asked me and stood up.

"Sure." I said without thinking.

Magnus left the room and I started reading the article.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Oh gosh, okay here is the longer chapter I promised! I don't think I like it, the ending seems a little rushed to me and I just don't like the way I overall wrote it... That being said, I am requiring reviews if you want the next chapter. Tell me your thoughts on this chapter, please. Also, enjoy!

**Magnus POV**

I left Alec to read the article about my life and career and went to Camilles door. What other things could possibly be going wrong? I definitely didn't want to find out.

I entered Camilles office and she perked up immediately.

"I ordered your dinner, though it may take a bit longer because of the weather." She frowned and then looked at me. "I told them to rush it." She added quickly. I probably looked pissed, though it has nothing to do with the food.

"I'm guessing that is not the dilemma you were talking about earlier." I came and sat down in the chair across from her desk.

"No." She sighed. "It isn't." She looked at me hesitantly as if she were afraid to continue.

"Camille." I leaned forward in the chair. "What is going on."

She bit her lip then started typing something on her computer. After a couple minutes, she turned the monitor to me and I stared in shocked horror.

BANE COLLECTION LEAKED

I scrolled down and saw the sketches of some of my clothing that is going to be in Fashion week. I examined my spring collection with wide-eyes.

"How did this happen? Who did this?" I demanded.

"I don't know. There is no source of who posted the photos. Mr. Bane," She leaned forward with a sympathetic look in her eyes. "they are everywhere. It's all anyone is talking about. It even got out to the other designers who will be showing at Fashion week."

"What did they say?" I asked nervously. This is bad. If the competition knows what I am releasing then it gives them the chance to alter their clothing and one-up me. Things like that have happened before and I lost hundreds of thousands from it.

"Nothing good." Was all she said and turned the screen back to her. I could only imagine all the things that are being said, _he wants the publicity. Figures Bane would do this to receive all the attention on the runway. Doesn't matter, I'll make sure my collection will be better._

"It was Herondale. I know it." I spat. "He has been out to get me ever since I started my collection." The William Herondale Collection is one of the top selling designers in the world, recently I was marked as the number one favorite designer and have been selling more pieces than he has. I would not be surprised if this was all his doing. It would push him back to the number one spot and put The Morgenstern Collection to number two and so on. I would end up at number six for the season; I felt a déjà vu coming on.

"Mr. Bane-" She started.

"No. It was him." I stood up. "Just like before." William Herondale use to be my friend, until he stole my pieces I was discussing with him and made them, in everyone else's terms, "better" and sold them under his name. That friendship ended quickly and the animosity started just as fast.

"Mr. Bane how would Mr. Herondale have gotten the sketches?" She asked, trying to bring me back to my sense of logic.

"I don't know." I said quickly and then thought about it. No one has sketches except for my employees that are currently out on the floor and they have all been sworn to secrecy. How did the sketches get leaked?

I felt myself staring at the door. Could someone have betrayed me? I looked back at a frowning Camille, it seems as though she came to the same realization.

"Get the pictures down. Now." I demanded and left the room before I could hear her protest about how it will be impossible to remove something that has already gone viral.

I entered the large room of my employees and looked around. They were all hard at work, sewing and matching and cutting and piecing. I trusted each of them dearly and to know that I have been betrayed by one of them, maybe even more than one? It was disappointing to say the least.

"Listen up!" I yelled throughout the room. All the chatter stopped, sewing machines were paused, the snip of scissors and rumples of paper ceased and all eyes were focused on me. "When I find out who leaked the sketches, you will be more than just fired, your career in this industry will be long over. I can promise you that."

I glared at each of them, making sure they got my point. It doesn't matter that half of them don't know what I am talking about, those are the people that have nothing to worry about. It's the ones that do that should be concerned.

"I will find out who did this. Until I do, all bonuses will be cut this month-" Some groans of protest erupted, I ignored them. "and the person you have to thank for that is standing in this room. If I find out any of you are withholding any information regarding this, you will also be fired. Now get back to work."

Everyone went back to what they were doing. The familiar sound of cutting, ripping and sewing filled the air. Voices slowly began to echo once more and everything was back on track as if I had said nothing.

I started back to my office when I remembered why I had left it in the first place.

_ Hot chocolate. Alec._

I rushed to the small kitchen that is past the bathrooms and behind the elevators. I boiled milk and pulled out the instant hot chocolate packages. If it weren't for the snow, I would have gone and picked up some much better tasting kind down the street. I took note that it is getting dark outside and the snow still has not cleared up.

I left the kitchen carrying two mugs full of hot chocolate with whipped cream on top. There was something so natural about doing this, making hot chocolate for Alec and bringing it to him while he waited in my office. I felt like it was one of the most normal things I have ever done.

Camille was just leaving her office and going for mine when she saw me.

"I appreciate that sir. Have a good rest of the evening." She tapped the screen on her cell phone. I was surprised to see that she was not wearing her Bluetooth device. "I am getting as much as I can removed, but not without a price." She said to me.

"As long as they will be offline." I said. "No Bluetooth?" I asked her curiously, not being able to stop myself.

"I seem to have misplaced it." Camille sighed.

I stared at the phone in her hand.

_ He doesn't have a cell phone. _

I felt myself grinning. "Camille." I said mischievously. "Tomorrow, I need you to go and add another phone to my plan. Get the same phone I have now and deliver it to me."

_ Magnus, what are you doing?_

"Another cell phone?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." I said. "Don't question, just do it."

"Right away." She confirmed and went back into her office.

Alec needs a phone. How else will I be able to get a hold of him? There is nothing I want more than to be able to call and text him repeatedly and annoy the hell out of him. It is so cute when he gets worked up, especially when he ends up blushing. And knowing that I am the reason for it makes me feel giddy.

_ Makes you feel _what_?_

Okay, yes I mentally used the word giddy. But it is true. I don't know why. I have never had this feeling before and it was so different from anything I have ever felt. I don't normally want people around me, but Alec, I want to be with him all the time. I want to give him everything and be his everything.

_ Uh-oh. You're in trouble Magnus. You're in it deep._

I ignored the voice in my head and was at my door when I realized I couldn't open it. I lightly kicked it a couple times with my shoe and a few seconds later, Alec opened the door.

He had stripped out of his large coat and scarf. He wore jeans, boots and a long-sleeved white shirt. He kept on the white beanie that I found extremely sexy on him; the white contrast with his blue eyes and black hair accented his features in the strangest most perfect way. I felt myself smirking. He looks like an angel.

"May I come in, darling?"

**Alec POV**

I moved out of the way to let Magnus in. He was carrying the hot chocolate in his hands and went to place them on the coffee table I was sitting at. I looked out at the main floor with curiosity.

_ These are his employees. Making his clothing. Making his dream come true._

I shut the door. Physically and mentally. I will never be able to accomplish any life goals like Magnus has. Not that I have any goals or ambitions, but if I did, all they would be are dreams. The only thing I can focus on is survival and even that is something I'm not sure I want.

"So what do you think?" Magnus asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"About?" I responded and turned to face him. He was looking at me expectantly and maybe a bit nervously. _Wait, nervously?_

"Me." He said softly and I sat down in front of him. I stared at him as I pondered how to answer but then he added, "All of this," he raised his hand to gesture to the room. "My job. The article."

I sighed inwardly from relief. That is easier to answer. "It's cool, you have gotten yourself far in life and that's good for you." I half smiled at him, I hoped he didn't see how much I didn't like the subject. All it did was remind me of my failure. I noticed Magnus visibly relaxed. Was he tense? I wouldn't know why.

"Good." He smiled kindly and lifted his hot chocolate to take a sip. I looked down and saw the second mug was sitting in front of me and I mimicked his movements.

He pulled his back before I took a sip of mine and I couldn't help the smirk on my face.

"Does my sipping hot chocolate amuse you?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

I giggled at his ignorance. "You have a whipped cream mustache."

Magnus' eyes flashed with embarrassment but he masked it quickly with a smirk matching mine. "Do I look good with a mustache?" He stuck out his chin and squared his shoulders, looking proud.

I involuntarily laughed aloud. "Yes, completely." I answered jokingly.

Magnus grinned widely and got up and walked to his desk. I found myself checking him out, looking him from head to toe and my eyes lingered on his ass.

_ What are you doing, Alec?_ _Stop that! You're not interested. You're not interested._

I blushed at my gaze. He has a nice ass… But I can't be looking at him this way. I turned away angrily; partially from my longing, another from not wanting to end up hurt.

A moment later Magnus was back with a clean upper lip and a couple more napkins. Instead of sitting across from me, he sat next to me and I took a sip of my hot chocolate to distract myself from how close he was next to me.

_ Don't let it phase you, Alec. You're not interested, remember?_

Magnus smirked. "Well, I think you look great with a mustache." He commented in a matter-of-fact tone.

I flushed and covered my mouth with my hand. Magnus laughed light-heartedly and handed me a napkin. "You should blush more often. It suits you."

I took the napkin and wiped my mouth free of whipped cream.

_ He doesn't mean that, Alec. He doesn't. _

My heart skipped a beat. He doesn't mean it, he can't mean it. I need to keep telling myself that but it almost hurts. A tinge of disappointment stabbed my chest and I realized I _want_ him to mean it.

_ But he doesn't mean it. He doesn't. Don't let him get to you any more than he already has._

I turned my attention to the windows outside. The snow still hasn't cleared up, which means Magnus wont let me leave any time soon.

_ Damn myself for getting me in this position._

"Are you alright?" Magnus asked abruptly. Was it that obvious?

Before I got the chance to lie and tell him I'm fine, there was a knock on the door and it opened, revealing Camille and a large bag. "Dinner is served." She smiled happily, letting herself in. She set the bag that said _Takis_ on the table and let herself back out.

"Thanks Camille." Magnus said before she closed the door. "I hope you like Chinese." Magnus said to me with a grin.

Magnus pulled out the contents and handed me three containers along with a fork and chopsticks. I opened the boxes and found one was Lo mein, another fried rice and the last orange chicken. Magnus had the same three in front of him and began eating.

Magnus complained slightly about the food being cold but after that we ate in silence. The food was delicious, Magnus doesn't realize this is the first full meal I've had in a week. I'm grateful to have a meal sitting in front of me, cold or not.

I remember the last, and first, time I ever had Chinese was with Jace. Hodge grounded us from having dinner because we refused to scrub the floors free from another kids throw-up. Jace and I decided to sneak out on the money Jace stole from Hodge when he wasn't looking. I smiled to myself remembering the satisfied smirk Jace wore when he showed me the money.

After that we traveled a couple blocks up to a nice Chinese restaurant. We had a blast- until we got back to the orphanage and Hodge found out we were gone.

We got a good beating that night, it was then that Hodge found out Jace stole the money. Hodge was sending me to my room when he was about to give Jace an extra beating for it. I stepped in and told Hodge I was the one who stole it. He stared at me long and hard as if he didn't believe me but then settled on giving me the beating in place of Jace. Jace was already half passed out, had I not have stepped in, Hodge probably would've killed him. I still have the long scar starting from my shoulder blade over to my spine.

"What are you thinking about?" Magnus asked me. I looked over at him and noticed he finished his food and was watching me with a curious look.

I set down my now empty container of rice, it sat with the other two empty containers, and leaned back to look at him.

"My first time at a Chinese restaurant." I said smoothly yet hesitantly.

"Tell me about it." He said, picking up his hot chocolate and taking a sip. The whipped cream had by now dissolved so neither of us worried about having a mustache.

This was the reason I didn't want to tell him what I was thinking. He wants me to elaborate and I don't know how without bringing up Jace or Hodge.

"Um. I went with a friend of mine a few years back. It was good." I picked my words carefully and left it as brief as possible.

Magnus looked at me skeptically. "Was it your first time?"

"Yeah." I said and he kept looking at me like he knew I was withholding information and was wondering why. _I mean, who withholds information about something so insignificant as that? _"What about you?" I tried to divert the conversation from me, I didn't like him looking at me like that and definitely didn't need him to ask more about the subject or my history.

"What about me?" Magnus raised an eyebrow.

"What made you want to become a fashion designer?" I was surprised at how easily I asked the question. I didn't realize that I actually wanted to know.

Magnus smirked. "Runway." He answered.

"Care to elaborate?" I asked. I shouldn't expect an explanation considering I didn't bother doing the same for him.

"My girlfriend took me to a fashion show when I was fifteen and I just instantly knew it was what I wanted. So I went out and got it." He shrugged like it was the most simplistic thing to do.

His _girlfriend_ took him? _Girl_ friend. Oh. I felt my heart do something that can only be described as 'dropping'. Magnus is straight? Have I been reading his signals all wrong or am I just prone to setting myself up for someone who doesn't even go for my gender?

_ I told you this would happen. You are already hurt and you don't even know him._

I turned away from him and looked outside. The snow had cleared up enough that I could see the buildings across the street. _Thank god. I need to get out of here._

"The snow cleared." I said standing up. "I should go. I have work tomorrow."

Magnus didn't say anything and I looked at him. He looked out the window and finally said, "Oh."

Was it just me or did he look disappointed?

_ Just you, Alec. Just you._

We cleaned up the remains of our dinner and tossed it out in the break room. We were back in Magnus' office and I was putting my scarf and jacket back on, Magnus did the same.

We left his office and I saw all of his employees were gone. Had I really stayed here that long? We took the elevator down and were silent until half way down when Magnus spoke.

"I had a great time tonight." He said. "I'm glad you wandered into my building."

_ God, why is he so confusing? He wants women, stop talking to me like this._

"Yeah." I said awkwardly, not sure how to properly respond. "Thanks for dinner." I said politely. The glass elevator opened up into the large space of the lobby and I watched the lone security guard become larger as we descended.

The elevator dinged and we walked to the entrance doors where I turned to say goodbye.

"Nope. I'm driving you." He said sternly.

"I have two feet, I can walk." I snapped in protest.

"I'm driving." He said and pulled me outside with him. We walked down the block to a black SUV and Magnus opened the passenger door for me and I got in.

_ I wish he would stop doing that. Giving off mixed signals like this._

We drove in silence with the exception of me giving him directions to my apartment. I realized I had backtracked from the subway and walked in the opposite direction of my home. We drove for about twenty minutes.

"Imagine if you walked, even without the blizzard you would've froze to death." Magnus said as he pulled up in front of my apartment complex.

_ As if I would care if that happened. _I thought.

"Alec?" Magnus asked before I got out of the car, I turned to look at him. "Are you alright? You've been acting strange ever since we ate dinner."

"I'm great." I smiled at him. I learned to fake smiles over the years and I became awfully good at it. Until this moment. Magnus looked at me with that skeptical look again like he knew I was lying.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" He said and gave me a concerned look that broke my already shattered heart into a million more pieces.

_ Not anything_. I thought sadly.

"Of course. Thanks again." I said and got out of the car before I found myself falling apart in front of him. I didn't hear Magnus' car leave until I was opening the door. I went inside and rushed up the stairs, the tears already slipping over and I was suddenly glad that I bought a knife two days ago.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Okay, don't hate me for the beginning of this chapter! D: And I want to point out that yes I do realize that Camille and Hodge are OOC. Camille wont stay that way but Hodge probably will because he isn't really involved in the story. And yes, I do realize it is unrealistic for an orphanage to beat the kids. But this is fiction so just go with it. (I don't mean that in a harsh way). Alright, you all know what to do; review and enjoy! (: PS. I feel like this chapter is a bit scattered, probably because I rushed writing it. I think you will get the idea though... Enjoy!

**Alec POV**

One. Two. Three slices to the wrist.

One for stupidly wanting a straight man.

Two for liking the feelings he gave me.

Three for allowing myself to get close to him.

Four.

Four for never being good enough.

The blood fell from my wrist in a waterfall of red and left a puddle sitting at my side. It wasn't enough to make me die but it was enough to make me come to my senses. I cannot see Magnus again.

Another tear fell from my eye.

Five. Five for crying.

Six for crying over _him_.

Seven; for good measure.

I let the knife fall from my hand and lay next to me. Red rimmed the edge of the blade and it stared at me as if to taunt me; to remind me of all the mistakes I have made.

I felt my vision grow fuzzy and knew I was about to pass out. Did I lose that much blood? Did I really care?

I stood up and found the gauze I use to wrap up one of my many mistakes.

I held the gauze in my left palm and used my right hand to wrap my entire forearm.

I'm so stupid for doing this. I promised Jace I would never do it again but I couldn't help myself, I absolutely deserved it. I haven't done it in so long, that should count as something right? I mean, I didn't actually kill myself. I have this under control and it's not like Jace has to know.

What's done is done.

_ Until next time, my blade._

**Magnus POV**

**The next day**

Alecs phone was delivered to me by Camille this morning in the office and I could hardly contain myself. I was dying of excitement and anxiety the moment the phone was sitting in my hand. I had ignored Camilles questioning gazes that she has been giving me ever since I asked for it. It's none of her business.

Now I am standing outside of Alecs work, staring down at the phone and turning it over in my hand. _I hope he likes it._

With a deep breath, I opened the door to the shop and was met with the same as usual except this time there were no customers and I saw no one was behind the counter. I looked around curiously, _maybe he is in the back?_

Just as that thought occurred to me, Alec came out of the back holding a package of coffee beans. He was wearing jeans and a long sleeved black button-down shirt and a black beanie to match. _Ugh those beanies, the way they push his long hair forward and frame his face in strands of black. _I never found beanies sexy until I saw Alec in one; right now and last night as a prime example. His pale skin stood out much more than normal, probably from all the black he is wearing. I wonder why he isn't wearing his work apron?

Just then Alec looked up and froze at the sight of me. His blue eyes standing out like flares in the night sky.

"Hi darling." I said with an eager grin. I'm so glad to see him, more glad than I thought I ever would be. I tightened my grip on the phone in my hand as my heart thumped against my chest.

_ What has gotten into you? You never do these sort of things for other people and now you're doing them for a perfect stranger? Now your heart quickens at the sight of him and you're _glad_ to see him? This is not you, Magnus. Since when are you the one swooning?_

Alecs eyes turned hard and cold. "The usual, I'm assuming." He commented and went about his business with refilling the coffee machine.

"I have something for you." I said, unable to contain myself.

Alec looked at me with a frown. "You what?" He asked as if not believing me.

I smiled and walked to the counter, Alec abandoned the coffee beans and stood at the other side of it.

"Here." I said and held out the phone, Alec stared at me.

"W-what is that?" He stuttered.

"You said you don't have a phone so," I hesitated, feeling a bit bashful. "I got you a phone." I shrugged to make it look like it is no big deal. _Which it isn't, right Magnus?_

Alec continued to stare at me, this time I could have sworn his blue eyes are a bit more shiny than usual. "Magnus," He whispered. "I can't accept that."

I rolled my eyes at his seriousness. "Of course you can. Take it. My arm is getting tired." I said playfully in an attempt to lighten him up.

Alec stared at the device in my hand and then slowly took it with his bandaged left hand.

_ Bandaged?_

"What happened to your hand?" I asked him with a frown.

Alec immediately pulled his hand away and pulled his sleeve a bit lower in an attempt to cover it, but failing. He is flushing and looking down. "O-oh um." He stuttered again, this time from something that sounded much like fear. _But what does he have to fear? _"I cu- _accidentally_ cut- my hand this morning opening boxes." He chose his words carefully and spoke them slowly but I didn't pay much attention to this because my concern outweighed my confusion.

"Are you okay? Were you bleeding? Of course you were. What kind of question is that? Do you need stitches? Let me look at it." The words fell from my mouth quickly and I couldn't stop them or mask the worry in my voice.

"No." Alecs head shot up and his eyes were wide with urgency. I stared in bewilderment at his outburst. "I'm okay." He looked back down at the phone. "Thank you, for the phone. I'll pay you back." He said, changing the subject and went back to his work with the beans.

"Alexander, the phone is a gift. If you try to pay me back I will have to take a personal offense to that." I mocked being hurt to try and make Alec smile. He didn't look up from his work. "Where is your apron?" I asked.

"Lost it." He said blandly.

"Just like your name tag?" I commented, mildly amused.

"My apartment is messy." Alec shrugged and finally began making my drink. He still didn't meet my gaze.

"Are you alright?" I asked him. He has been acting strange ever since I showed up. First he was surprised to see me, which is odd because I come here every day. He was very bitter, but that is Alec on a daily basis so I'm not going to read into it. He looked like he was about to cry that I got him a phone, I mean it is such a minor thing, why would he want to cry? And then there is his hand, he was lying when he said he cut it on boxes. What does he gain from lying about that?

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Alec said and put the lid on my drink, then handed it to me.

He is lying again. Why? What is wrong? I wish he would let me help. I hate to see him like this.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you all SO MUCH for the reviews! They mean the world to me, you don't even know! I can't believe this story has gotten so many reviews/follows/favs. I'm starting to feel the pressure in not letting you guys down which I already feel that I am. Honest time: I have no idea where I am taking this story. I'm just writing as I go along which is why each update is taking longer. Tell me in the reviews where you all want to see in future chapters. More specifically- how should Magnus find out about Alecs cutting? How should the Fashion show go with William and Magnus? Tell me your thoughts on the Camille and Ragnor situation. Also how you think Isabelle should come into play. (I already have an idea for bringing back in Jace). Are you guys liking Jace? I have bits and pieces thought out for each of those questions but I want, no I need, to hear your opinion! Also tell me how you feel my writing is, I welcome constructive criticism with open arms!

Also, in advance to reading this chapter- I know very little of Fashion week. All I know are the basics so don't hold me to anything in great detail.

If you're still reading this, I applaud you! This is the longest A/N I've ever written!

Alright, i'm done now! Review your answers and enjoy the chapter!

**Magnus POV**

That afternoon I was back at my office, thoughts of black hair and blue eyes swimming in my brain. I just can't figure out what is going on with Alec. He seemed fine last night and then he wasn't, just like this morning. I wish I knew, I want to know but Alec is closed off. He doesn't seem like he is going to let anyone see past the cocky façade he puts up constantly. _I wonder why that is? _I plan on figuring it out. I want him to be able to trust and lean on me. There is something about him that I actually _like_ and that is rare for me. There is nothing I want more than to be able to hold him close and kiss him constantly. There is nothing I want more than to call him mine.

I had only just sat down at my desk when Camille burst in.

"I swear, if you say there is another-"

"Problem?" Camille finished for me.

"Is there?" I asked apprehensively but already knew by the look on her face that there is.

"It's Ragnor." She stated biting her lip. "He, uh, quit."

"WHAT?" I exclaimed and shot up out of my seat, nearly knocking over the chair and desk simultaneously. "Why?"

Camille shook her head indicating her ignorance on the subject. I stormed past her and out onto the main floor.

"How are we coming on the designs?" I called out to everyone and they all stopped to look at me. "Will they be done by Wednesday?"

Everyone was silent and looked to their feet or anywhere but at me.

"We are very _very_ short handed-" Someone finally said, it was Jordan, one of my well trusted employees- just like Ragnor was.

"Is that a no?" I asked furiously.

"We can make it happen." Maia chinned in, one of my newer workers, some eyes looked her way in confusion and worry; some even gave her the death glare. "Like you said in the meeting yesterday, you hired us for a reason."

I clapped once and pointed at her enthusiastically, scaring some of the other designers. "That is what I like to hear! Keep up the good work."

I turned and walked back into my office, pulling Camille with me and shutting the door.

"I bet it was Ragnor that leaked the photos to Herondale. I probably scared the living hell out of him yesterday when I threatened everyone's job. His career is over, I'll make sure of it." I began pacing the floor anxiously.

Camille bit her lip and looked away nervously, fiddling with her hands.

"What is it?" I asked, stopping and putting my hands on my hips.

"Are you sure it is worth the effort?" She asked, now meeting my gaze and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Of course, that man ruined me so I'll ruin him. Then I'll give Herondale a piece of my mind by having the best clothing line in Fashion week!"

Camille pressed her lips into a hard line and nodded once. She turned to leave but stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned back to me.

"You're going to need a date." She stated, looking at me with her usual confidence she wasn't wearing two seconds ago.

"I'm what?" I asked raising my eyebrows. A date, huh? I inwardly smirked. I was already planning on bringing one but if it is suddenly _required_, then my date can't turn down my offer to go which he surely would have.

"Word on the street is Mr. Herondale is bringing someone for the week of shows, including the day he is showing."

Of course he is bringing someone! Leave it to Herondale to always try and one-up my every move. His date will be flawless too, they always are. But fortunately, my date is also flawless.

"Then I will bring someone as well. Do what you have to to get another seat with us."

"What about the day you are showing? You will be backstage the whole time-"

"So will my date." I said simply. It is against the rules to have anyone other than the designers and models backstage but when have I ever played by the rules? If I know William, his date will remain in the audience. He is too work-oriented to have a distraction backstage. Now I am back to having the upper hand. Take that Herondale!

"I will get the seat reserved." Camille said quietly and left, leaving me to frown after her. Gosh, she is acting strange. I'll blame it on the nerves from knowing she has to walk on a runway for the first time, in Fashion week no less, and for one of the greatest designers.

I sat back down at my desk, grinning to myself. _I can't wait to tell Alec._

**Alec POV**

I kicked the door shut behind me and flopped myself onto my bed. I'm so tired but I haven't been able to sleep. I realized I lost a lot of blood last night and I was surprised that I didn't die right then. I managed to scrub the blood off the floor but there is a faded shadow from where the blood had stained.

My room is a mess. I had to buy multiple blankets in order to keep myself from freezing at night; my bed is a pile of fabric as well as the small love seat by the window. The window that I now have to keep a sheet hanging in front of because of that damn old woman across the way.

I got frustrated this morning with my clothing that I flung half my closet across the room. I'm am so sick of wearing the same thing all the time and that made it difficult to settle on today's wardrobe choice. Not that I have much of a variety to choose from anyway. But by doing that, I lost my apron. I searched everywhere but it was no where to be found. That was just my luck.

I bought a lamp for extra light and that sits alone in one corner on the floor. I have my books stacked against one wall and my fridge consists of fruit and cheese slices.

I'm clearly living the dream in this place.

I scowled remembering how work went today. I saw Magnus. I promised myself that I would never see him again and what happens? He is the first person I see this morning.

_ It's not like you had a say in the matter._

_ True, but you did accept a cell phone from him!_

I sighed and pulled the device out of my pocket.

_ What was I suppose to do? He wouldn't take no for an answer!_

I turned it over in my hand. It is an iPhone, clearly the newest version, it's silver and black and feels weightless in my hand. I unlocked it and explored a little. I found the only contact in the phone is 'Magnus the Magnificent' with a smirking and kissing icon next to it. I rolled my eyes.

In the notes, I found a note addressed to me from 'Magnus the Magnificent'. It gave me the password to the iTunes and App store and said to download whatever I wanted.

I sighed again and laid the phone down next to me. How could Magnus have done this for me? He bought me a phone, who on earth does that for another person? I have never received something like this before and it's a shame that Magnus doesn't realize how deeply this means to me.

_ He will never know how much it means to you, Alec because you're not going to tell him._

The voice in my head is right. Magnus doesn't need to know about the darkness in my life. Besides, I hardly know him and he is interested in women.

_ What does that have to do with it?_

_ Everything. It has everything to do with it._

I sighed again, the thought making the skin on my wrist burn. Or maybe that is just my imagination.

I was pulled from my thoughts at the light tapping on my door. I frowned. No one knows where I live and it is too early for my land lord to want the rent.

I got up and took three steps to reach the door. I will never get over how small this room is.

I opened the door and immediately my heart picked up speed and my stomach grew butterflies.

"Hi darling." Magnus said with a soft grin, making my mind go blank. "May I come in?"

"S-sure." I stuttered and moved out of the way to let him in. I shut the door and turned back to him. He is examining my room with an unreadable expression. I bit my lip and after a long and uncomfortable silence, Magnus spoke.

"First your name tag and now your apron. I'm starting to see why." Magnus raised his eyebrows at me.

"Well, I'm sorry it isn't like the perfect house you most likely have." I grumbled. "Some of us aren't as fortunate as others." I regretted saying it as soon as the words fell from my mouth. Magnus' expression changed to something more difficult to read. Maybe realization or understanding or perhaps something worse, pity. "Why are you here?" I asked him to try and get that look off his face but my tone only made his features darken. _Ugh, why must I always be so bitter?_

"I wanted to ask you something." He said, straightening his posture and finally regaining the arrogance in his eyes.

"Which is?"

"As you know, Fashion week is coming up-"

"What's Fashion week?" I asked him with a frown and Magnus stared at me with large eyes.

"Tell me you are joking."

"But I'm not. What is it?" I asked again. I'm assuming it has to do with fashion, based the name and that it is coming from Magnus. Given I was raised in a home of all boys, fashion was not a topic of discussion at the dinner table.

"Are you sure you're form New York?" He asked me with narrow eyes.

"You have made your point that I am stupid for not knowing. Now please enlighten me." I snapped.

Magnus sighed and began explaining. "The Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week is one of the biggest events in New York. It's where designers display their latest collections in runway shows to give the people and media a look at the latest trends as well as what is _in_ and what is _out_." Magnus' eyes lit up more and more with each word he spoke. "It lasts a whole exciting week and my spring collection is being featured. This is my fourth consecutive year being named."

"Congratulations." I said trying to sound disinterested but really I'm fascinated at how Magnus is getting so excited just by talking about it.

"I still find it hard to believe that you're living in Americas number one fashion city and you have never heard of Fashion week." He continued shaking his head.

"Take a look at what I am wearing. Does it look like I give two shits about fashion?" I asked him with raised eyebrows to make a point.

Magnus raked his eyes over me, up and down and back up again, taking an agonizingly slow amount of time. When he reached my face again, I was blushing.

"No." He smirked. "But I am taking you with me all next week." He concluded.

"Wait. What?" My eyes grew wide.

"You're going as my date." He said proudly. Did I just hear him correctly? His _date_? For a whole week? I blinked at him.

"Why would you want _me _as your date?" I asked slowly and disbelieving.

"Because I like you." He stated smoothly. "I want you there with me." Nothing in his features said he is joking. He is looking at me with a serious gaze and has some kind of sparkle in his eyes. Not the one he gets from talking about fashion, but something else. Something that includes adoration and kindness.

I bit my lip but finally said, "Alright, I'll go with you."

Magnus broke out into a huge grin and seemed to be restraining from jumping up and down. His excitement made me smile in return. _He is excited for me to go with him. _I thought fondly.

Looking at him now, my thoughts were overlapped by two things:

_ Could he be any more adorable_?

_ What did I just get myself into?_


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thank you all soooooo much for the reviews! They are very helpful and I take each one of them to heart and consider each idea thoroughly. This is what I have for now, the beginning seems a bit scattered but I guess that's how you would be if you're suicidal...? I don't know but here it is anyway, I apologize in advance for the depressing chapter. Good news? I already have the next one half way written! Review and enjoy!

**Alec POV**

When Magnus left, I sank back onto my bed feeling a bit colder than I had before. Either from Magnus being gone or being stuck going to a fashion show for a whole week.

_ Or it's because your apartment is an ice box._

I rolled my eyes at my smart ass thoughts. I can't decide if I should be happy about this situation or worried. Magnus wants me as his date.

_ Date! _I can't believe it. Magnus is gay! Well, more like bisexual but good enough.

_ Good enough? More like more competition, Alec…_

Must I ruin everything with my side comment thoughts?

Worried. I should definitely be worried. This might mean Magnus wants more, if Magnus wants more then he is going to want to know more about me and I don't want him to know more about me. I don't want him to be scared away.

Maybe I shouldn't go and reissue my plan to avoid him.

My heart constricted at the thought.

Ugh. I can't do that.

If he wants more, then I'm screwed. I'm not going to end up with Magnus regardless. He knows me, he runs. He doesn't want more with me, I still don't get him to call mine. If, by that slight chance, he is not interested, I still end up alone.

Alone. I will be alone like I always am. Like I am now.

If I were Magnus, I would run. Run across the country, the equator, the ocean, just to keep from being with someone who is a waste of time and energy. Because all I am is a ticking time bomb and a lost cause. Magnus deserves better than that.

If only I could run away. I would give anything just to start over with my life. I wish I could trade my life for something worth fighting for. If only I had the perfect parents, the annoying little siblings and the white picket fence house. I wish I had school drama to deal with and have to worry about passing a test. I wish I had dance recitals and soccer games to attend for my siblings. I wish I had a father to look up to and a mother who is over caring and protective. I wish I could be the strong big brother that my siblings could lean on.

But no. I don't have any of that. And I can't trade my life for someone else's. I can't change my past and by the looks of it, I can't change my future. All I am is darkness, the shadows follow me everywhere I go and test me and the people around me, setting them up for disappointment.

I felt the tears well in my eyes and spill over. I'm a lost cause. I don't know why people even tried with me. I'm useless, a waste of space, I shouldn't be alive.

I should've just done the deed last night when I had the chance. But no, I let my morals stand in the way. Fuck that. I don't care and neither does anyone else. That is a job that can easily be completed right now.

I bet no one will even know that I'm dead.

I am that ticking time bomb and here I am ready to explode.

**Magnus POV**

**The next morning**

I walked into the coffee shop with a big smile on my face. _I get to see him. I get to see Alec._

There is absolutely no better way to begin my morning than seeing those shining blue eyes and raven black hair. Not to mention that blush I can easily put on his face.

No matter how hard of a shell Alec can be, he is still able to crack and I am able to crack him. That blush is the first sign of it. That blush is more than adorable and mesmerizing, it is reassurance that there is still a person within that jackass of an attitude and that there is hope. Hope for him and me and us together.

Except disappointment flooded me when I noticed Clary behind the counter, not Alec.

"Is Alec here?" I asked her, although I already knew the answer.

Clary rolled her eyes. "No. He didn't even show up and now I have to cover his shift! Do you know what time it is? And it's my day off." She grunted and then took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm done ranting now. I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for his absence."

"Yeah." I said skeptically and left the shop, not before Clary gave me a curious gaze that I ignored.

_ If Alec is sick then he should've called in, he has a phone now._

_ Maybe he over slept?_

_ No, Alec is too much of a workaholic to be that careless._

_ Something is wrong._

I got in my car and my driver took me to Alecs apartment building. Each stoplight seemed to turn red and lasted a bit longer than the last. My heart would not stop beating in my chest and my breathing felt shallow._ Please be okay. Please be okay._

**Alec POV**

I opened my eyes to a blinding bright light. It took me blinking many times and squinting to finally be able to adjust to my surroundings. It was then that I heard the beeping next to me and realized I have IV's in my arm and bandages around my wrists. I'm in a hospital.

Everything that happened last night started to come back to me and I instantly knew someone must've brought me here.

_ Curse them for saving a life that is unworthy of one._

I just started praying that it wasn't Magnus who found me. I could never let him see me like this.

Then I noticed a golden head resting next to my hand and the owners body slumped over in a chair. _Oh no._

"Jace?" I asked in a rough voice. Immediately, the golden head flew up and I was met with tired, golden eyes.

"You bastard." He spat in an not believing tone but also sounding quite relieved. "What were you thinking?"

I blinked a couple times at him. "How did you know?" Was all that I could find myself to say.

Jace glared at me. "I didn't. It just happened to be the night I runaway I find you laying unconscious in a pile of blood."

"How did you know where-"

"Stole it from Hodges book, how do you think?" He said making me sound like I'm the dumbest person in the world. Of course he stole it, this is Jace.

"Wait, you ran away?" I asked him as if just registering everything he said.

"I guess we are both full of surprises." He stated and looked away from me.

The two of us were silent.

"Why did you do it?" He asked quietly, still looking away. When I didn't answer he spoke again, this time angrier. "Damn it Alec answer me."

"Because I'm worthless." I stated, matching his same tone. "I have no reason to be alive."

"That is not true and you know that!" Jace stood up frantically with his voice raising. "You promised me Alec! You promised you wouldn't do this again! If you had died, I don't know what I would've done." His voice broke on the last sentence and he stared at the far wall with his hands on his hips. I felt myself stare at him in utter shock, Jace is not the sentimental type. "I need you Alec." He said a moment later.

I can't handle seeing him this way. I hate that I did this to him. "Jace-" I began.

"Don't." He cut me off and looked at me with glassy eyes. "Don't try to justify this, Alec."

"I'm not." I said with sadness. I cannot believe he is reacting this way, I have never seen him this distraught. Usually he is good at covering it, just like the last time I almost succeeded at killing myself. I was out for days and when I finally saw him, he had to hold himself together because we weren't alone. "Jace, I'm sorry. I betrayed you and I hurt you. I didn't mean for that to happen. I just, needed it to end. The pain and sorrow. It hits me like a tidal wave, Jace. At the most inappropriate of times and at the most ridiculous things." I shook my head and looked down at my pale fingers. "I'm constantly reminded of all the things and people I have lost and the things I don't have and never will, have." I choked on the last word.

Jace sat back down in his chair and took one of my ghostly white hands in his. "Look at me." He said and I obliged. "You have me. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. You're not alone in this and you never have been, Alec. I'm always here. You're not going to lose me. We are all each other have."

Jaces eyes are desperate and his tone is pleading as if trying to make the words lodge into my brain and stick there permanently. He needs me to hear him- not just listen but actually _hear_ what he is saying.

And I do hear him. Which is why I made myself the silent promise not to try anything again until I know Jace has found another person to rely on.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I LOVE YOU ALL! Your reviews mean the world to me and are the only thing that keep me going! Here is chapter 10, the ending came out of no where so hopefully it wasn't too soon, and (chapter spoiler) I know I have been killing you all with the suspense of Magnus finding out about Alecs extracurricular activities... but I have plans for that so hold on for just a few more chapters! You all have been so great! And with that, I leave you to your reading and enjoying (and hopefully reviewing!) :D

**Alec POV**

That night I was discharged from the hospital. Jace would not leave my side and would not stop rambling about putting me on suicide watch again and even going as far as speaking of rehab and therapy.

I simply shot down his ideas, stating that I don't need it and that with him around I wont have the chance to attempt anything anyway. Eventually he shut up but I don't blame him for not really believing me. I know I will hear about it again.

We got on the subway train to head back to my place. We sat down in the back and looked out to the other people that are rushing around dressed in business attire and others asleep in their seat or staring aimlessly into space.

"Jace, you realize my place is the first place they are going to check." I stated with concern. Hodge and the others are going to be looking for him and may even call the police and have them open an investigation. If that's the case, their first stop is me.

"I doubt they are even going to bother, I'm doing them a favor by leaving." He said in monotone.

"What made you do it?" I realize this is a ridiculous question, who wouldn't runaway? But after all this time he chooses now? Something must've changed.

"Impatience." He stated. "Our last conversation got me thinking. I'm not doing anything good for myself by being there. I want to experience things. I want to make money and meet people and actually learn what freedom is."

I turned in my seat to face him. Jace is looking off into the unknown like the majority of this train is. It always felt eerie to me, the blank expressions on their faces like they're dead. Jaces is different though, his radiates life and something else I couldn't quite figure out.

"I'll tell you what freedom is Jace." I started a bit angrily and he looked at me, nothing about his expression changed except for the dilation in his eyes as he focused on me. "It is tiny apartments and not getting paid what you deserve. It is fighting to survive, literally. I know you Jace, you're picturing what is seen in the movies, happiness and money and women. That is not what you're getting. You're getting reality. The harsh and unfair reality where you are lucky to get enough money to stick food on your table and put clothes on your back."

Jace was about to respond but I cut him off. "Look at these people around you." I lowered my voice so no one could hear me. "Look at their blank and dead expressions. That is what real life is like. And soon enough, it will hit you like it hit them. Cold and bitter like the winters night."

Jace didn't say anything for a long while, he stared out at the people around us as if trying to process what I said. I was turning back in my seat when he finally spoke.

"You may be right, Alec. Life is not all about flowers and sunshine but that does not mean it is completely absent of it. It means you have to be willing to fight for what you want and believe in. You have to be willingly to see past the bad and know that one day, you will get what you deserve. Whatever it may be."

I blinked then looked at Jace again. He is staring out at the people as if he said nothing. The look on his face remained the same as it had before, but this time I could decipher his expression.

It's hope.

* * *

We were out of the subway and walking the short block to my apartment, neither of us said a word until we reached the front door of the complex where a man was sitting on the step underneath the individual buzzers that rang for each apartment. He had his elbows on his knees, and hands raked into his black hair and his right leg was shaking impatiently.  
He didn't hear us approach and it was just when Jace spoke that I noticed the glitter in the mans hair. Shit.

"Dude are you alright?" Jace asked him and immediately Magnus looked up and stared at me with wide eyes, ignoring Jace completely.

"Oh my god." Magnus exclaimed and jumped up and into my arms. I felt myself tense up but immediately relaxed. _This is Magnus, there is no need to be so tense._

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, making myself relax in the process. _He is hugging me. We are physically touching. Oh my gosh. _Warmth and comfort are spreading through my cold and heartless body. I took in his sandalwood and cinnamon scent that burned so sweetly in my nose, and as he pulled away and held me at arms length I thought, _I cannot believe I wanted to leave this. _

"I was so worried. The guy next door to you said he saw an ambulance and that you were taken to the hospital, he didn't know what happened. I went to the hospital but no one would tell me anything or let me see you." Magnus' eyes glinted with worry and fear and relief. I hate that I made him look and feel like this. I never thought what I did would ever effect Magnus.

"I'm sorry." I said weakly to him and his face fell even more into worry.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" He pulled a strand of my hair from my eyes. "It is not like it was your fault."

"No. It wasn't." I said a little too quickly and then I glanced at Jace who was watching the two of us intently. "Jace, could you give us a minute?" I asked him and for the first time Magnus and Jace locked eyes and there was nothing kind about either stares. I swallowed hard and dug out the key in my pocket to give to Jace. He took it and then went inside but not forgetting to glare at me before leaving.

**Magnus POV**

I don't know what it is, but I already know that I hate Goldilocks. Maybe it is because he is around my Alec or because he was with Alec at the hospital and was the one there to support him. My stomach ached at the thought of blondie being Alecs boyfriend.

Aside from that, I still feel sick knowing my precious Alec was in the hospital, for something that I still don't know yet. It scared the hell out of me when I got here and his apartment door was locked and there was no answer each time that I knocked louder and louder and started calling his name desperate for his soft voice to respond or his blue eyes to glisten when he would open the door like they had before. Instead I was met with his neighbor who explained the whole thing. I rushed to the hospital only to be met with a big ass load of nothing. Just that, yes Alec was there and yes he will be alright and no he will not be accepting visitors. I stayed for a good five hours until I decided to come back here and wait.

The inside of the building felt like it kept closing in on me, like the walls kept shrinking a smaller and smaller size to completely suffocate me and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I came outside and sat in the freezing night air for about an hour. Now I am met with Goldilocks and a saddened, but alive, Alec. My nerves and adrenaline are still going strong but relief was overriding everything. My Alexander is okay.

"Tell me what happened?" I said and took his hand to bring him down to sit on the step with me. The cold brick normally would have seeped through my pants and made me jump at the cold but my whole body was already numb from the cold. Alec sat with me and the cold took no effect on him.

I kept his hand in mine, finding it being the only source of warmth and comfort right now. Alecs whole body is tense and his facial features speak of worry and fear which is far from relieving.

"I-" He began and coughed to clear his throat. "I had lost a lot of blood when I cut my hand yesterday at work and working only made me bleed more. I should've gone to the hospital right away but I couldn't afford it. Then last night I finally passed out. Jace was the one who found me."

Alec still wouldn't meet my eyes. I don't know if I should be worried about this, it's not like he is lying, is he? That is a ridiculous thing to be lying about. But he did seem to be acting this same way yesterday when he said he cut himself at work that morning.

I guess saying that I'm skeptical is the best way to phrase it.

What am I suppose to do if Alec _is_ lying? I can't force him to tell me what is really going on and I sure as hell don't want him to feel uncomfortable around me like he is now.

I looked down at our intertwined hands. His sleeves covered to his wrist and he is wearing gloves, same as me.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I found myself gently saying before I could stop myself. Instant remorse flooded me as Alec stiffened even more. How could someone be that tense? He started to blink rapidly and kept his eyes focused on the ground where snowflakes were softly falling.

I felt myself rub circles on the top of his hand to soothe him. _Don't cry. Please don't cry. _I mentally told him. I'm not very good at this, I have never had to comfort anyone except for my cat, Chairman. The damn thing always needs attention and I always have to rub behind his ear in the way that I am rubbing Alecs hand. Strange that I picked up this method from my cat. It usually worked on him, I hope it will help Alec even if it's in a minor way.

The last thing I need is to pull Alec into another embrace and make him tense up so much that he is frozen like the snow or hold him close and suddenly have him burst into tears like he seems to be holding back right now.

I didn't expect Alec to respond to me at this point. But Alec always finds a way to surprise me, like right now.

"I know." He said with a sigh.

"Do you?" I said sternly. I didn't realize the anger boiling inside of me until just now. How could Alec do this? Why can't he just tell me what is actually going on? Why doesn't he mention who the hell Goldilocks is? Why the hell didn't he just listen to me yesterday morning when I asked to see his wound?

Alec stood up abruptly and faced me with piercing darts for eyes. I have gotten this look before, mostly from my annoyed employees when I ask them to do things seemingly impossible, but this time the glare hurt. I didn't flinch away, my experience kept me from doing just that but my heart did an uncomfortable jump in my chest. I never would have wanted Alec to look like this, so torn up and hurt and many other things that I can't pinpoint. I sure as hell never wanted to be the cause for it.

"No. I really don't." He stated with furrowed brows. "I don't even know you and yet you're doing all these things for me like-" Alec faltered with his words and shook his head.

"Like what?" I asked him and stood up to be eye level with him. We were out in the open now and I watched the snow fall onto Alecs black hair and stick to it. Each flake stood out like the stars in a clear night sky.

"Like you want to be with me." He whispered so quietly I thought I was hearing things. Alec is staring down to our feet, his hands sitting in his jacket pockets and he shifted nervously telling me all I need to know- he did say those words.

Alec is easy to read when he wants to be, or rather, doesn't want to be. Actually no, he is absolutely the most difficult person to read and the most infuriating man I have ever met. But that didn't stop me from reaching my hand out and placing it under his chin to guide his head up and face me.

I looked straight into those ocean pits and spoke my next words gently, sincerely and effortlessly. "There is nothing I want more."

Then I pulled his soft lips to mine and we were kissing.

I told myself it was impossible for someone to tense up to the point where they seem as frozen as ice, but I was wrong. As my lips met his, Alec froze over to that point.

But that didn't stop me, because I know that something frozen can easily be melted.

And as our lips stayed locked and Alec began to kiss back, I knew I had melted him.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I'm so sorry this update has taken so long! Most of my time was taken writing my Valentines Day malec one-shot, it's called Yours as Long as my Forever if you're interested in reading (: Thank you all for reviewing and following! I can't believe I have over one-hundred reviews AND follows. That is the craziest thing ever and I THANK YOU SO MUCH! Here is chapter 11, I hope you all like it! Read it, review it, enjoy it! (:

**Alec POV**

Magnus pulled away first and I stared at him, a mix of a million emotions running through me that I have never felt before and don't know how to determine.

_ So that's what it's like to be kissed. _Was the only coherent thought I could conjure up.

Magnus looked down at me with glimmering amber eyes and a small smile playing on his lips. "Was that convincing enough, darling?"

I blinked what felt like a thousand times and blushed crimson before I finally found words to answer. "Y-yes."

Magnus smirked. "Good." He said and pulled me into his embrace and I fell into it, enjoying the affection that I never knew existed until this very moment. It felt _right_, so right. How could I have gone all my life without knowing this feeling was out there? How could I have been pushing Magnus away from me when this was what he wanted to give me? "Please call me the next time something is wrong. I want to help." He pleaded.

_ He wants to help. He wants to be there for me. _I smiled inwardly and only nodded my head against his chest in response and I felt Magnus release a breath and relax for the first time today since I have seen him.

Magnus pulled back to look at me but kept his arms wrapped around me. "So tomorrow is Wednesday and it's the day I am doing the fittings for the models of my clothing for next week." He paused and the sides of his mouth quirked up. "And I am assuming that you don't have anything formal to wear when we attend."

"Who says I don't have anything formal?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he only smiled more.

"What you wear on a daily basis for one,"

"I don't wear formal clothes on a daily basis." I stated with a frown.

"I know, love." He smirked again and I tilted my head to one side in confusion.

"Then how would you know if I own anything? I'm not going to show up to work wearing a suit and tie."

"Your clothing is scattered across your apartment and I looked inside your closet. Don't look at me like that, I'm a fashion designer, you're lucky I didn't start picking through your shirts one by one."

"What does this have to do with Fashion Week?" I asked him, slightly annoyed. Curse my apartment for being so small and my closet not having a door on it.

"You need something to wear for the week. Seven formal outfits. Come by my work tomorrow and I'll have my tailor fix something up for you."

I blinked. "Magnus, you don't have to-"

"Yes. I do." He interrupted me. "You will look ridiculous if you show up in casual clothing."

I scowled at him. "I have dressy-er clothes." I argued. "I don't want to burden you-"

"Burden? Darling, quite the contrary. You are no burden to me. I _want_ to see you. I thought we went over this. I'll even pick up some breakfast, or lunch, whichever." Magnus smiled genuinely and excitedly at the thought. I sighed loudly. How could I turn down that face?

"Fine." I grumbled in defeat. Magnus cheered happily with a stupid grin on his face that made me grin in return.

"We are going to have so much _fun._" He stated with bright eyes.

"What is going on out here?" A familiar voice asked. I looked at the door and found Jace standing against the doorframe.

I pulled away from a suddenly irritated looking Magnus and took his hand leading him to Jace. I was rude to not introduce them earlier but I was also not fully thinking straight. In fact, right now I feel this is the first time in a long time I actually have a firm grasp on what it is I _am_ doing.

"Magnus, this is my friend Jace. Jace this is my- er, Magnus." I bit my lip awkwardly when I finished, what do I classify Magnus as? My friend? Boyfriend? The latter is preferable.

Both men glared at each other, I could practically feel the tension hanging in the air like a guillotine and I swallowed hard. What is it with these two? Jace couldn't possibly be this protective over me, could he? And Magnus? I have no theory, he always gets along with people. Until now. I suddenly regret introducing them.

"Did I miss something?" I asked nervously, trying to break through the thick sheet of bitterness.

"No not at all." Magnus was the first one to speak. Jace kept his eyes on him as he turned to me. "I will see you tomorrow, darling." He said and kissed the top of my head in goodbye, making me blush again. He glanced at Jace one last time and then turned and walked off. Leaving me staring after him and feeling cold without his touch.

"He doesn't know, does he?" Jace asked once Magnus turned the corner and was out of earshot.

I blinked out of my gaze and looked to my feet, knowing full well what he is talking about. "No."

"I figured as much." He stated. "You know that may pose as a problem at some point." He spoke cautiously.

"At some point." I said a bit angrily and pushed past him and into the complex.

**Magnus POV**

It was a short walk down the block to my car, the streetlights flickered overhead and the snow still fell gracefully and crunched beneath my feet with each step I took.

The streets were deserted, a car was parked here or there but nothing that seemed worth a second glance. Until I approached my car and it suddenly dawned on me that I never really put much thought into where Alec lived.

My Audi is extremely out of place next to the beat up trucks and old, creepy looking vans. The buildings around me are old and run down, the brick faded and crumbling on some of the more abandoned warehouses. I turned and looked in the direction of Alecs apartment. It is out of sight now but I still have a good enough mental image.

It's another run down building with rusty railings and broken concrete on the stairs leading up to the main door; I'm sure the sidewalk matches that description as well but it's currently hidden by the snow. The hallway smelt of mold and rust, probably the most disgusting thing I have ever encountered. The stairs creaked when I climbed them to Alecs front door. The inside of his apartment is cold as hell, I just assumed that was how he liked it but now I'm not so sure.

Alec hates the cold and lives in a crap apartment and works a minimum wage job, I don't know how I didn't think on this before. He can't afford a cell phone or a heater. He works all the time because he needs the money, yeah that has to be it. He doesn't have health insurance which is, like he said, the reason he didn't go to the hospital.

It all seems to make sense, but I still have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'm missing something.

I got into my car and started the engine, immediately turning on the heat. What is it that I'm missing?

It makes me angry that I can't figure it out, what could Alec be hiding that is so terrible he can't tell me about it? Does he not trust me?

The tightening in my stomach told me that I sure as hell hope that is not the case. I want Alec to trust me, I want him to be able to tell me anything and everything. I want to know about him, I want to memorize each bump and curve of his body, the way his hair blows in the wind, the sound of his words rolling off his tongue. I want to know each dark secret of his past and each memory that made him smile and laugh to the point that he almost burst into tears.

_ You're in so deep._ I shook my head. That black hair and blue eyed boy has me tightly in his grasp and he doesn't even realize it.

I'm the great Magnus Bane and here I am in a neighborhood where you could easily be raped, robbed and probably much more. I realize now that I was seeing past all this ugly and looking at the bigger more beautiful picture- Alec. That just goes to show how there really is beauty in the ugly.

_ Who are you and what have you done with Magnus?_

I rolled my eyes at my thoughts.

I never thought I would be in this position, wanting to do everything in my power to make someone other than myself happy; to want to know someone better than I know myself.

With a sigh, I pulled out of the parking space and started driving to my Brooklyn home. It has been a long day. I have never been more stressed or worried in a week than I have in this one day. And with a job like mine, that says a lot.

As I pulled away I kept thinking about this street. Alec is broke, but surely there are other areas of New York that are safer and less expensive? I don't know how he handles this.

I heard my phone begin to vibrate as I came to a stop sign that led to the main road. I pulled it out and saw over twenty missed calls and messages from Camille.

_ Oh great._

With everything that happened today, I completely ignored work. I left my phone in the car all day and didn't care about anything but figuring out what was going on with Alec. I'm sure I am going to get a earful about this.

I dialed Camilles number and started driving again, it is easier to just call than try and drive the New York streets while reading text messages.

She answered on the second ring. "Where the _hell_ have you been?" She asked angrily through the phone.

"Something came up." I answered smoothly.

"What has gotten into you? What do you mean something came up? Since when is anything more important than your job? Especially with tomorrows fittings as well as the show next week!"

I raised my eyebrows at her outburst. I have never heard her flip out like this and to be honest, it scared me a little. I could tell she is pissed but most of all she is panicked.

"Just tell me what I missed." I stated in a calm voice, hoping it will relax her.

"For starters, I think you should know that we are all still here working and that the clothing is coming along very well, they should be finished by your deadline."

I frowned. "You make it sound like that is a bad thing."

"That's because it is twelve in the morning, Mr. Bane. I understand you don't like anyone to work late because mistakes are often made when you're drowsy but I told them to stay anyway because the models will be here in the morning and lost time needs to be made up for."

I scowled into the phone. She is correct, I hate my employees working late shifts and since when is it midnight? Had time flown that quickly?

"As long as the designs are done correctly, then you made a good call." I stated although I am not too happy that she has been making decisions on my behalf. But what choice did I leave her? I'm lucky I have someone as reliable as Camille.

"I also had to make different arrangements with some models because a few can not make it in the morning, I had to schedule them for later in the afternoon. Also, I couldn't get one of the websites to take down your leaked sketches, no matter how much I offered in payment. I bet you can take one wild guess as to which site that is."

"Alicante Fashion" I grumbled. Of course it is Alicante Fashion. "I _knew_ it was Herondale." The Alicante Fashion magazine is one of the number one fashion magazines in the world and William Herondale happens to be good friends with the owner of the magazine. "Any other great news?" I asked sarcastically.

Camille hesitated. "The only other seat at Fashion Week I could book was on the opposite side of the catwalk and in the back row."

I silently cursed to myself.

"I booked it, I will take that seat so you and your date can have the front row."

I sighed deeply, it would be much easier if I could have her next to me to discuss the other collections but I also need Alec there with me. I suppose I'm lucky enough to have even gotten another seat. "Thank you."

"Of course, so I will see you tomo-"

"Hold on, I need you to do one more thing." I said, cutting her off.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Call my tailor, make sure he is there in the morning and make sure you book him out for the rest of the day. Do what you must to get him to be there. Tell him to bring everything, he will know what I mean."

"Will do. Have a good evening, Mr. Bane."

"To you as well." I said and hung up the phone.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Okay so this chapter was suppose to be the whole day of Alec getting fitted for Fashion Week but then the chapter was getting too long and I was becoming impatient with how long it was taking for me to finish it. So I broke it into two parts, this is part one (which may be slightly blah so, sorry) and part two will be posted shortly. I only have it half written. Good news? After this 2-part chapter will be Fashion Week! I'm excited to write it, I already have the days outlined. Each chapter will be a day at Fashion Week. Alright, thank you all for the reviews and follows etc. They mean the world to me and I love you guys so much for them :* Keep them coming please (: Enjoy! PS. Do tell me how you feel about the plot twist at the end (;

**Alec POV**

I peeled my eyes open and found light shining into the room. I blinked rapidly. I keep the window covered, there should not be any light in this room at all.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." A cheerful voice exclaimed and now I know why the windows are open. I groaned. "Nope, get up! You're burning daylight." Jace said and pulled the sheets off my body, cold air hitting me like tiny needles stabbing all over my skin.

"Dammit Jace!" I mumbled and curled myself into a ball to keep warm. He only smirked.

"I think we need to buy a heater." He said in a matter-of-fact tone. I rolled my eyes inwardly. _Yeah, no shit we need a heater. _"You were right about this place being smaller than my room at the Orphanage. It's not possible for this place to room two, let alone one. There is _no way_ I will survive sleeping on that tiny love seat again."

"Well, Princess, suck it up because right now it is the only option." I said in an annoyed tone, still mad he took away my blankets.

Jace scoffed. "Well, mind telling me how I can get a job so we _can _move?"

Work. _Shit. _"Jace what time is it?" I said and sat up abruptly.

"Uh," He said and went to the kitchen counter where I left my phone and clicked the screen. "It's noon. Oh and you have a text from, Magnus?" He raised his eyes to me quizzically. "That the guy from last night?"

I got up and took the couple steps to him and snatched the phone away and read the message quickly.

_ I'm assuming were doing lunch then?_

I sighed deeply. Dammit. What has it been with me and over sleeping?

"I have to go." I said quickly and started searching my closet and floor for clothes. (I still hadn't cleaned the room free from my clothing I threw around the other day).

"Alec. Job." Jace stated in attempt to focus me.

Job. I forgot to call in! Not to mention explain myself for yesterday. Now I will have to figure out some excuse for my absence for both days.

"Get dressed." Was all I said.

We were both dressed and ready to leave; I was walking out the door when Jace spoke. "Don't you need this?" He said and held up a tan apron with the coffee logo on it. I stared with wide eyes.

"How did you find that?" I asked in amazement.

Jace looked at me with a frown. "It was under a bunch of clothes next to my terrible bed."

_ How did I miss that? _I shook my head, remembering to answer his question. "No, I have somewhere else to be today. But you will be filling out a job application at my work so let's go."

We both left the complex and walked out into the cold morning- no, afternoon- air. The snow was not falling, thank goodness; the city needs a break from all the falling frozen clumps.

The coffee shop is just a couple blocks from my place and we got there quickly, stopping only at crosswalks and to wait for the customers leaving the shop that held the door for Jace and I to enter.

Inside, the store is empty and Clary stood behind the counter, tapping her fingers impatiently on the countertop and flipping through a magazine.

"Hey." I said as I approached the counter. Clary jumped up immediately, forgetting all about the magazine in front of her.

"Where have you been? Is everything alright?" She asked and I was surprised to find genuine concern in her eyes.

"Yeah." I sighed. "I'm sorry. I was held up with my friend." There was a clatter behind me and Clary and I both looked to see Jace picking up a package of coffee beans he dropped and place them back on the shelf. He noticed us and then smiled confidently. I shook my head in annoyance. "That's Jace, he needs a job and I know Luke is always hiring."

"Pleasure to meet you." Jace said and held his hand out to Clary, she shook it and wore a small, shy smile.

"I'll get the application. Luckily Luke will be in later today." She said and started to get the paper.

"Wait." I said and she stopped. "He's not mad is he?"

Clary smiled kindly. "Luke isn't the kind of guy to fire you after two days of skipping work, if that's what you're worried about."

I let out a sigh of relief as Clary went and got the application. Jace continued to explore the store and touch breakable things, which is probably a bad idea considering he just dropped one of the easiest things to hold. Glass isn't advised.

Luckily Clary came back with the paper and Jace perked up, snatching the paper from her and the pen from the counter.

"Great. Well I'm heading out."

"You're leaving me?" Jace raised his eyebrows.

"You will be fine. Luke will be here later so odds are he will interview you right then and there. I have somewhere to be." I said and started walking out.

"Does it have to do with Maguns?" Jace asked as I reached the door. I noticed Clary raise her eyebrows and Jace looked amused.

I only dropped a wink at the two of them and listened as Clary giggled and Jace gasped at my abnormal response. I was smirking the whole way to Magnus' building.

* * *

I approached Magnus' building and have a much clearer picture of its surroundings. I realized it is only a few blocks from Central Park and a long distance away from the coffee shop. Makes me wonder why on earth Magnus goes so far out of his way to get coffee at my shop? The coffee isn't that great and it surely is not because of me.

Walking up to the doors I notice there is a name printed on the glass that I hadn't seen last time I was here: Bane Building.

Magnus' creativity begins and ends with design, apparently. I felt myself smile. Gosh, what is it with me smiling lately?

Inside I go straight for the elevators, knowing full well that if I stand around and admire the architecture that I will draw unwanted attention from the security guard like last time.

I press the button to go up and waited patiently for the elevator. As I stared up at the elevator descended from the tall ceiling, clicking of heels were echoing behind me and then stopped next to me.

A blonde woman dressed in a pantsuit and an overly large jacket was rummaging in her equally large purse and muttering something about how she can't lose it again.

The elevator dinged and the woman and I both entered. She continued to dig through her bag and I decided to speak.

"Which floor?" I asked her.

"Same as you." She stated, head and hands still in her bag. I frowned at her but realized she couldn't see me. I was about to comment but she continued. "You're the guy Magnus is waiting for, are you not?" She let out a loud sigh after she spoke and pulled her attention away from her bag in defeat and her deep green eyes clung to mine instead.

I realized with a start that this is Magnus' assistant, Camille something.

I averted my eyes from hers to the numerical buttons on the elevator wall and hit the one that said 14. The number lit up and the doors closed.

The girl has seen me maybe twice and she knew who I was without even _looking_ at me. Maybe that is part of her job as an assistant, to keep an eye out and be on top your game constantly. But there is something in the way she looked at me that made me not look at her again as we rode up. For some reason, the look in her eyes made me uneasy and I realized that I don't _trust_ her.

"So Alec is it?" Camille began in a tone I couldn't recognize.

"Yes." I said smoothly, keeping my eyes forward even when we started going through the different levels and the glass turned to white walls.

"You're Magnus' date for the shows?" She said more as a statement than a question.

"Yeah." I said skeptically. Where is this going?

"That's good." She said. More silence. I watched the numbers on the screen above the buttons. Level 5, 6, 7. "Because you know," 8, 9. "He is really going to need you at the end of the week. Whether he knows it yet or not." 12, 13. The elevator came to a stop with an echoing ding and the doors opened. I stood still and watched as Camille exited and turned back to look at me with a mischievous smirk and an evil glint in her eyes. With a wink, she disappeared around the corner. I followed her out; suddenly realizing this is also my floor. I looked in the direction she went but she was gone.

I sighed loudly. What was that about? Was that a threat to Magnus? Why would she be threatening him and what does she have to gain? If it wasn't a threat then what does she know that he doesn't? Maybe if I ask Magnus…

No I can't bring this up to him; he will believe her before he would believe me.

I shook my head free of questions as I walked into the large room and my eyes grew with the sight before me.

The room is packed with people; and I thought it was busy the last time I was here. There are what look to be models everywhere and the designers are taking measurements with rulers and sticking pins in the ridiculous clothing; others are examining the outfits dressed on the mannequins. There are drapes on the far side of the room and I can only assume that's the dressing area. I noticed some clothing thrown over the top of the bar holding the drapes.

I scanned the crowd for Magnus but he was nowhere to be found. I checked his office, empty. I bit my lip and shut the door. Break room?

I walked through the crowd of people and down the hallway to find an older man sitting at a table next to the window and a girl, presumably a model, eating out of a tub of Ben and Jerries ice cream.

I scowled in defeat and turned to go back to Magnus' office when a voice rang like wind chimes behind me.

"I swear it's not what you think." The girl said quickly and I turned around to see her setting down the container and spoon and rushing up to me to stop me from leaving. I didn't even realize she had seen me. "Please don't tell my boss." She said, her dark eyes pleading. The girl has fair skin, black silky hair and looks about my age. She's tall, thin and is honestly quite beautiful for a woman.

"Oh, I-I wasn't- that's not what I was-." I frowned in embarrassment. I wasn't scowling at her for eating something she clearly is not suppose to be, I was scowling because I can't find Magnus anywhere and it's frustrating.

The girl smiled a gleaming grin with straight, pearly white teeth. "I'm Isabelle."


End file.
